chapter 1 : smilesxstripes

21 dec 2019 / 12:21 pm

cirquelectroexotica commence via SmokeClouds in medias res…

Hillside, windy chilly. I’m reminded of the call that led me here.

remember when we were so attracted to empowerment?

remember the circus, the spirit itself, like tasting God?

I know i must do this. See what this shed is all about i guess. Oh my, this is something.

remember the flashes before our eyes?

It was one of those nights deep in the desert of my trajectory where no one could hear my screams.

remember the black trails, the long walks, that brought us solace?

Shaken, limping, perception still spinning... who’s this now?

so wrapped up in the reality of existence

I still revisit those evenings in the Pharaoh’s chambers.

look at the people, look at their faces

Swaths of sweaty beings straining for a taste of humanity.

I’m the chatter that keeps them sane

His persona had less concern then for what may have been outside his truth.

so this is how it’s going to be

every second a new adventure

I will view each page a panel

forgetting faces, houses and lights

to exist in the moment

Oh dear, where am i? Oh, the shed, the cave, tunnel, whatever. She’s showing me around. She’s showing me around! Goodness, who’s this guy?

Sometimes i just wish i could do something like that. How come i am never enough? I hurt when i watch and feel shame for where i am.

there’s a certain truth that hides in those who say why not

content to be quiet and observant, not sure they’re drifting

This breeze from her words is meeting resistance. Am i smiling? I don’t feel like i’m smiling.

air can be anything

for those who paint with energy

Oh, this is what she’s doing now? I guess i’ll... go?

and silence.

Think of what you love.

and remember the thoughts that always pushed through?

Then think about love as you would your biggest fear.

remember the adventures, the memories, the dreams slipping away?

Then imagine if this fear were deadly.

if we weren’t walking backwards we’d miss the view

How would you feel about what you love then?

It was a quiet day ascending that mountain, like it was the first time. Something impelled me to look behind me. I think it was that laughter.